Get your website's SEO roasted by 26 legendary personas — Elon Musk, Trump, Hemingway, Dostoevsky, MrBeast, Taylor Swift, and more.
npx seo-roast example.com
npx seo-roast example.com --persona trump
npx seo-roast example.com --persona hemingway
Zero dependencies. Zero config. Zero cost.
| Persona |
Flag |
| Ernest Hemingway |
--persona hemingway |
| Marcel Proust |
--persona proust |
| George Orwell |
--persona orwell |
| J.R.R. Tolkien |
--persona tolkien |
| Vladimir Nabokov |
--persona nabokov |
| Agatha Christie |
--persona christie |
| Mikhail Bulgakov |
--persona bulgakov |
| Fyodor Dostoevsky |
--persona dostoevsky |
| Strugatsky Brothers |
--persona strugatsky |
| Ray Bradbury |
--persona bradbury |
| Persona |
Flag |
| Elon Musk |
--persona musk |
| Sam Altman |
--persona altman |
| Steve Jobs |
--persona jobs |
| Jeff Bezos |
--persona bezos |
| Persona |
Flag |
| Donald Trump |
--persona trump |
| Persona |
Flag |
| Quentin Tarantino |
--persona tarantino |
| Christopher Nolan |
--persona nolan |
| Ryan Reynolds |
--persona reynolds |
| Keanu Reeves |
--persona keanu |
| Persona |
Flag |
| MrBeast |
--persona mrbeast |
| Taylor Swift |
--persona swift |
| Kanye West |
--persona kanye |
| Zendaya |
--persona zendaya |
| Timothee Chalamet |
--persona chalamet |
| Billie Eilish |
--persona billie |
- Title tag (presence, length)
- Meta description (presence, length)
- H1 tags (presence, count)
- HTTPS
- Page load speed
- robots.txt
- sitemap.xml
- Canonical tag
- Viewport meta
- Image alt tags
- Script count
- HTML size
-p, --persona <id> Choose persona (default: random)
-l, --list List all available personas
-h, --help Show help
# Random persona
npx seo-roast competitor.com
# Specific persona
npx seo-roast mysite.com --persona tolkien
# List all personas
npx seo-roast --list
- Fetches your page + robots.txt + sitemap.xml
- Analyzes 12 SEO signals
- Generates a roast in the selected persona's voice
- Gives you a score from F to A
No API keys. No LLM calls. Everything runs locally with zero dependencies.
MIT - Citedy